Who stole my vada pav???

Setting: The Thackeray residence in Bombay..no..Mumbai.

Balasaheb: (angrily)..its 9 in the morning, where is my breakfast. Hurry I have to go to the inauguration of the party headquarters of the party "people who eat vada pav and are marathas".

An orderly appears:"sir,er..bhau..er Mr. Thackrey, you fired the cook last week because he was wearing a MNIK promotional T-shirt.

Balasaheb: Did you call me mister?? what would Hitler be thinking..is this the plight of his successors and was that cook a Maratha?? if he was, call him back but give him a new T-shirt from the new designer range i have designed:-"Manoos' pride".Now leave you northener.

orderly: But I am from Maharashtra sir...(voice trails off).

Balasaheb: But northern Maharashtra..who knows you could be a spy of the MNS or the RSS...hah speaking about Raj..have u heard any news of him lately??

orderly: How would I sir..but I have heard that he is on a Bombay Duck diet to promote maharashtrian food pride.

Balasaheb: Who told him bombay duck is maharashtrian ..must have been the plan of that amar singh. Call my secretary, I want to have a press conference so that we can change the name of Bombay duck to Maratha duck.

(secretary appears).
Balasaheb: What's the progress been like today.

Secretary(brimming): Sir we have torn about 20 SRK posters and about 45 AB posters today. We have also forced dabbawalas to serve only poha and vada pav to their customers. Work is also going on to build life size effigies of...

Balasaheb (interrupting): effigies..for what,and is the wood from the nilgiris?? what about the nails you will use to make it, the metal is surely not from those mines in bihar or from the south.??

Secretary: Sir we are just getting some effigies built in advance, the artists will not have time later and sir the wood is right from a park in Bombay..er..mumbai itself and the metal used is pure maratha metal.

Balasaheb: (seemingly pleased): thankyou chaudhary..er..chavan..is that what you have changed your name to, right??

Secretary: with your blessing saheb, yes. My name is now Gangaram Chavan, bihar..no,no..borivili wale.

Balasaheb(now quickly munching on a vada pav): good, its true that these don't taste good but I will have 100 stale vada pavs to some single sinful north Indian parantha.
And I will announce a film called "my name is maratha" with uddhav as the lead and varsha bhogle can be the director and scriptwriter, i will trust no one else. Fix a meeting with the "vada pav thelawala" association as soon as possible for the finance purposes.

Secretary: Yes Mr..(he sees balasaheb rise and starts running)

Balasaheb: (running angrily behind him) Come back here u psuedo-manoos..come back......